Many years ago a meteor crashed on our planet, and when a gang of ninjas arrive on the crash site something comes out of it. It turns out this was not just a space rock, but a capsule with aliens in it. Now the ninjas have to team up to destroy this creature from another planet before it takes over the population.
In this God forsaken modern subgenre of over-the-top Japanese splatterpunk movies, there have been so many movies that my interested disappeared almost before I even began watching them. And to be more specific about what kind of films I mean (although I'm sure you already know); "The Machine Girl", Tokyo Gore Police", "Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl" and so on. I was excited about the trailer for "The Machine Girl" when it was coming out but the interest flew out of my like a fart when the titles multiplied. I have had a few visits into the subgenre but I am in no way able to compare all of them in this review. The best one, I think, is "Meatball Machine" because it did it in a way that was reminiscent of "Tetsuo: The Iron Man" without feeling like a backyard abortion of it. It was just a fun cyberpunk movie where the creativity really worked. "Tokyo Gore Police" on the other hand did too much with everything, and it just became ridiculous. I mean, some scenes I really enjoyed, but it became boring as fuck. Had I seen "Tokyo Gore Police" when I was 13 years old, I would've loved the shit out of it, and maybe that's what this genre is aimed for - younger people that are into splatter. "Alien vs. Ninja" certainly felt that way, even more so than "Tokyo Gore Police" (being less absurd and graphic than "Tokyo Gore Police" maybe "Alien vs. Ninja" should be for around 10 year olds)
The very shallow story quickly introduces us to the ninjas within the first second, and the alien crash is soon to follow. The rest of the movie jumps between fighting scenes and brief dialogue scenes that are just there to give us a break from the action. The ninjas are goofy and the alien, even though ugly, is the only thing that I found to be entertaining with this movie. Although I did like that it stayed with one formula. That formula is alien vs. ninjas. If you compare it to the splatterpunk movie for the ADD generation that was "Tokyo Gore Police", there are many differences and that's good. "Tokyo Gore Police" is all about going too far into absurdity, so much that I was bored and annoyed by it, meanwhile "Alien vs. Ninja" is a lot more calm and focused. Although I guess it doesn't matter, the result was still bad. But it was a lot easier to get through.
I'm a sucker for poorly made creature suits and yet again this movie reminded me of "Power Rangers" and not to mention the big shot "Godzilla". That's probably the best thing about it, that the creature was entertaining to watch. And it's not necessarily that the effects are poor, just that they are shown way too openly and never hidden in shadows and whatnot, which would've helped. Sadly it's also covered by CGI effects, which never looked good. Even in the scenes that are free from violence and action they have something stupid like added backgrounds. It annoyed the shit out of me since it could've at the very least became a cheesy prosthetic FX feature to please the masses (a.k.a the ones who don't like CGI).
In many ways this feels like "Power Rangers" for splatter fans and that's exactly why I would have loved it when I was 10. But now that I am older it's just a case of not giving a fudge. It's nothing new. I might've spent a few chuckles at the awful one-liners, the terrible creature effects and poor CGI, the shitty in-air end fight, but the movie is bad. Even though it's definitely not taking itself seriously, it's still not worth spending time on. A weak addition to this subgenre that I'm already not a fan of.