Title: Blackaria

Also known as:
N/A

Year: 2010

Genre: Independent / Giallo / Horror / Gore

Language: French

Runtime: 70 min

Director: François Gaillard & Christophe Robin

Writer: François Gaillard

IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1778780/

Plot:
Angela's neighbor throws loud sex parties that makes it hard for Angela to sleep at night. One day her mysterious neighbor is killed, and Angela discovers a strange crystal ball in her apartment. One that can predict the future. And her future is not looking good!

Our thoughts:
I believe they made "Blackaria" before "Last Caress", but since they came on the same DVD and with "Last Caress" playing first, that's the one I watched first as well. And after having written a long, angry review about why "Last Caress" is a terrible movie, it's hard to follow it up with a review of this film. Because they're essentially the same god damn movie!

Honestly, they're the same. Except for the plot. I know that sounds stupid because if the story is different, then they're not the same. But give me a break! The stories in these two films are so weak that a sigh could break them in half. On paper they sound somewhat decent, but they're both just mash-ups of giallo, supernatural and occult Italian films. Sometimes even ripping off certain scenes, in hopes that people wouldn't notice it. There's no deny that these stories are thin, confusing and poor excuses to throw in gore and nudity into the film.

"Blackaria" is an annoying tale about a woman who finds a crystal ball in her neighbors apartment after the said neighbor has been killed. This crystal ball can show her the future, and when the ball falls to the floor and is smashed in thousand pieces, she makes a pair of glasses out of it. Now she can walk around pretending to be Marty McFly (he actually WENT into the future, bitch!). She then sees her own demise. Yadda, yadda. Insert a bunch of boobies and kills, and you have the movie.

I don't want to repeat myself too much from the "Last Caress" review, so you could do yourself a favor by reading what I had to say about that one as well. "Blackaria" suffers from a lot of the same issues, from having so much pointless nudity that you'd think a kid made it, poor acting, and too much in common with Andreas Bethmann. Luckily it's not as oddly bright as "Last Caress", which saves me from HAVING to look away (even though I'd prefer to, anyway).

I would have to say I think the story for "Blackaria" was easier to follow, but it's impossible for me to say which one is the better. I knew what to expect when I sat down to watch this one, and that probably made it easier to accept the crapness of it. But when it comes to the violence and nudity, I can't really tell you which one is the superior. Both are filled with it, and the gore does look good in this one too.

And that's that. This is another movie that wants to pay homage to the Italian classics, but ends up feeling more like a stupid softcore gore movie. I don't see a point in watching this, and I love a fair share of terrible/stupid movies. Luckily they are released on the same DVD, so you can get the two fairly cheap.


Positive things:
- Gore.

Negative things:
- Bad story, too much pointless nudity, bad acting, and a bunch of other crap.

Rating:
Gore: 3/5
Nudity: 3/5
Story: 0.5/5
Effects: 2.5/5
Comedy: 0/5

We got this movie from:
Njutafilms.com

It can be bought from:
SubDVD.com

Reviewed by:
Ronny




 

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