Herschell, a biker... and an embarrassing hybrid of Elvis and Danzig, helps a young religious girl called Angel with a flat tire on the interstate and eventually makes his way back to her house. Upon his arrival he meets Anne, Angel's sister, and she is throwing a little drug party... where they attempt to coerce Herschell to taste the sweet nectar of marijuana! Herschell indulges somewhere down the line and, naturally, he becomes terribly addicted to the substance as a result. During his plight with marijuana addiction, Herschell gets a job at a turkey farm, and essentially becomes a guinea pig for a triage of scientist who are experimenting by testing certain chemicals on turkey meat for hormonal purposes. Inexplicably, this leads to Herschell becoming a man-sized turkey who must drink the blood of dope-fiends to satiate his neverending anguish of being a marijuana addict.
What would compel me to choose "Blood Freak" as my inaugural review for Film Bizarro? Well, for one, it's very cut-and-dry Christian propaganda... ripe for Film Bizarro no doubt. No need to wrack my mind over meaningless symbolism, existential validation, social themes, blah, blah, blah. The message is simple, folks! Drugs will always lead to one transforming into some giant form of poultry who will inevitably go on a mass-murder rampage. Now, Lord knows I've done my fair share, so it's only a matter of time that I succumb to such an insidious destiny. I wish I could be more serious about this turkey (ha! this practically writes itself), but, really, where am I to go with such a poor yet commendable exercise in religious/anti-drug zealously?
Alright, religious horseshit aside, let's get into the movie a bit. Is it good? Well, no, of course not. But, does it fall under the 'so bad it's good' category? Well, yes and no. Despite the paltry 86 minute run-time, anything in between the action sequences is excruciatingly slow. Completely asinine dialogue, a lot of out-of-focus shots, a static lingering camera with no sense of editing, etc... There are also very few action pieces involved, so expect to be slumped over if you give this a try, thinking to yourself "what in the holy fuck am I watching". The gore is mostly pedestrian, with the exception of the "table saw" sequence where Turkey-Herschell saws off some fiend's leg. It is surprisingly effective because the actor/recipient of the saw was missing a leg in the first place, so that gave the filmmakers a chance to exploit that to the fullest extent as the camera lingers around a bit while he hops up and down sans a leg. Clearly a shameless production from start to finish. All in the name of Jesus Christ. The rest of the grue is not nearly as notable...simple lacerations with very colorful blood (think melted pink crayons) gushing out as Herschell gets yet another fix.
Brad F. Grinter, one of the two credited directors, also serves as the visual narrator of the picture. I think this is where the power of the message comes through... or, at least in their eyes. He pops in and out throughout, without rhyme or reason, and preaches a lot of nonsensical lines about the actions on screen and the effects of drug-use... and continually looks down at his lap where a cheat-sheet for his lines are obviously stowed away. Ironically, I'd put my money on the fact that Grinter was incredibly stoned whilst preaching. Eyes half-cocked, mumbling, and very familiar movements of any given drug-fiend. Furthermore, in the irony camp, I'd recommend a healthy dose of your drug of choice prior to watching this.
To sum up, it is a novelty film. The Something Weird DVD box boasts "The World's Only Turkey-Monster-Anti-Drug-Pro-Jesus-Gore Film!". So, that's all one really needs to know when going into this. Party fodder at best. But, it's a propaganda film that lovers of exploitation can appreciate at very least. And when you get bored by the preaching and the dialogue, you can always yell "FOCUS!" at the screen.