Title: Blood Gnome

Also known as:

Year: 2004

Genre: Independent / Horror

Language: English

Runtime: 87 min

Director: John Lechago

Writer: John Lechago

IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0330068/

People in BDSM circles are dying off one by one, but the police can't seem to find the murderer. A crime scene photographer starts investigating by getting into the BDSM scene and strange things start to happen at the crime scenes. Through his camera lens he can see small creatures and at first he thinks he is crazy, but he is far from it.

Our thoughts:
My interest in "Blood Gnome" started back in 2007 when a website (now defunct) that uploaded my first short film for streaming also had an interview with the director of this film. It's just one of those weird things that I remember from that website, reading that interview. There is no real reason for me to keep that memory close to heart but the title of "Blood Gnome" has stuck with me ever since. Why did it take me so many years to actually check it out? Honestly, it still didn't look very good. There are so many bad, entertaining movies out there that this was just never the most interesting one. I stumbled upon it for just a few dollars now and decided to just go for it. And I'm happy I did.

The story surrounds the BDSM scene where people involved with something called "bloodsport" are dying in mysterious ways. It looks as if they were murdered, but upon further investigation the wounds seem to be inflicted by some sort of animal. A crime scene photographer, just recently released from a mental institution, starts looking into the bondage scene and gets in contact with a woman who calls herself "Divinity". She takes him to a few sessions, some involving himself as well, to help him with the investigation. While at work, our photographer soon starts to see things in his camera lens that no one else can see. Weird little fanged creatures are all around the corpses at the crime scenes. He knows he's not crazy, but is having a hard time proving it.

It's a textbook story in a horror movie. It won't surprise you along the way but as you can understand, the focus of this story is 1) the sex and 2) the blood gnomes. We don't really care about our main characters previous mental breakdown that lead him to stay at the mental institution, even though it was sort of a funny story. Basically he split with his wife. A while later he gets a crime scene photography job, and it turns out to be her and her new boyfriend. He didn't recognize her at first because her face was blown off! Pretty funny, I thought. Anyway, back to the important bits.

There is one huge problem with the blood gnomes, and that is that they are actually more like ghosts or something. Most of the time people can't see them without a camera (we only see them as white shadows, of sorts), and that means for the first half and more we have a very limited time that we actually see them. That does get better towards the end though, and then we also realize that when they walk it looks like they've pooped themselves. I still think they had an alright look to them - obviously fake, but entertaining still! And of course, because the movie is so centered around BDSM, you can expect a lot of nude scenes in the film. This was one surprise I didn't mind at all!

I had fun with "Blood Gnome". The focus is the gnomes and the sex, and there's plenty of both. It's a bad movie in almost any other way but definitely not the worst I've witnessed either. What it boils down to is: Do you want to watch a movie because it's bad and fun, or do you want to watch it because it's good and well-made? If it's the latter, then skip this one. But for good ol' joy I think this works well.

Positive things:
- Blood gnomes!
- Plenty of sex.
- What we saw of the "Mother" was entertaining.
Negative things:
- The blood gnomes were basically ghosts, or at least invisible, most of the film.
- We didn't get to see the "Mother" of the gnomes very much, and in the end there's no real fight with her.
- It's a bad movie.

Gore: 2.5/5
Nudity: 3/5
Story: 1.5/5
Effects: 2/5
Comedy: 2/5

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