Title: The Bride of Frank

Also known as:

Year: 1996

Genre: Independent / Comedy / Splatter

Language: English

Runtime: 89 min

Director: Steve Ballot

Writer: Steve Ballot & more

IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0261587/

The homeless man Frank finally gets a home when he gets a night time job at a freight company, where he is now also allowed to live. The guys at the company love Frank, and they're desperately trying to get Frank the one thing he wants in his life: tits. So they put an ad in the paper...

Our thoughts:
I didn't think I'd ever rewatch "The Bride of Frank", but sometimes you reach a point in your life where you just have to man up and get right back into the dirt you once left behind. I saw "The Bride of Frank" quite a few years ago, and never considered going back simply because once is enough. It's entertaining at times, sure, but it's also a big load of crap. Like, literally - it's independent gross-out comedy/splatter that would land on the rejection floor of Troma (or wait.. they released "Shameless, Tasteless..." so they'd probably be up for this).

The story is, as you might have figured, about Frank. Frank is a bum. A really creepy, old, gross bum. And he lands a nighttime job at a freight company, and they also allow him to sleep in there so he'll have a home. After a rather unconventional birthday celebration for Frank in the warehouse where they give him stuff like a knife, a blow-up doll AND a blow-up sheep, he ends up killing a guy who enters and makes fun of them. And like Franks says, Frank does: he literally does decapitate him and shit down his neck. And the co-workers laugh and have a jolly good time. After this they realize that Frank wants one thing in his life above all, and that is a pair of big, juicy tits. They decide to help him get an ad in the local paper, looking for women with that specific quality. Of course, sweetening it a bit. And the females come visiting one after one. Those who don't run from the mere sight of Frank are either selfish fat cows that just want to dance and not let him touch, or transvestites.

Whenever I think about "The Bride of Frank", I think of the opening sequence. This is probably one of the most disturbing scenes ever. But only because Frank is just a gross old man to begin with! I mean, the scene (and the rest of the movie) is completely ridiculous in execution, and done in bad taste. I'm not SHOCKED, but there is definitely something gross about seeing Frank try to trick a little girl into his truck, and then beats her unconsciously when she doesn't want to kiss him. And then runs her over with the truck. It wouldn't have been gross at all, hadn't Frank been disgusting to begin with. He's simply too much like all the bums I've encountered in the world!

The effects and the editing is really horrible, and maybe it's BECAUSE of the poor quality of the film that it does get gross. It's simply too gritty and poorly made for us not to wonder what the hell they were thinking. That and it has a heavy focus on fart jokes, snot, piss, and other random disgusting stuff. "Oh, an artistic movie!" you might think, but no, that's not what it is. Even though I have noticed a raised popularity in poop and puke in "art" films. This is just an intentionally ridiculous comedy/splatter film that does everything it can to leave a stench in your living room.

But is it entertaining? Yes and no. I can't deny the laughs, there are certainly funny scenes because they are so ludicrous. Whenever Frank talks, is one of those moments. Poor effects and a decent amount of boobies (although not always on beauties) will keep you entertained when nothing else will. And grossed out. The movie is done with a certain joy as well, and that kinda makes everything acceptable. "The movie sucks, so what?" pretty much. And that's the essence of "The Bride of Frank". Take it or leave it.

Positive things:
- It's crap BUT it's okay with it.
- Has a few funny moments.
Negative things:
- I think bringing up negatives here would be stupid.

Gore: 2/5
Nudity: 2/5
Story: 1.5/5
Effects: 1/5
Comedy: 2.5/5

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