Title: Dard Divorce

Also known as:
N/A

Year: 2007

Genre: Gore / Crime / Thriller

Language: English

Runtime: 82 min

Director: Olaf Ittenbach

Writer: Olaf Ittenbach

IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0936468/

Plot:
Nathalie and Tim are in the middle of a nerve-wrecking divorce and Nathalie can't wait for it all to be over. Tim, on the other hand, will be left without his kids. He pick the kids up for their last weekend together, but the weekend goes horribly wrong when he shows up at Nathalie's house, wounded and on his last breathe. And the kids are missing...

Our thoughts:
I really hope this review won't be a copy of my review of "Garden of Love", 'cause they share a lot. And not only that they are Ittenbach movies. So I will tread carefully and hope you won't compare the two. And yes, they should be very different movies, "Garden of Love" is a film about demons and "Dard Divorce" is a crime/thriller. But you'd be surprised.

It's an easy movie to fall into, the plot isn't complicated and we know it will take us to a massacre or two. We follow Nathalie, a mother of two who is divorcing her husband Tim. She will have the custody of the kids, but Tim is allowed to have them for one last weekend. Later that day when Nathalie is alone in the house, she hears her dog crying in a strange way from the middle of the corn field, and as she goes back inside she finds a paper with the word "Dard" painted on it. Now, she says it's blood from the very first second she calls the cops (never even considering paint), so I will have to say it was a note written in blood. And from here on it just gets messier and messier. More people get involved and everyone is an asshole.

This isn't a surprise in an Ittenbach movie, he likes to throw twists in your face more often than he gives you gore. That should say a lot. Every time you meet a person, you might as well expect him to be a bad guy. And this isn't the first movie of his that is played out this way. It gets more and more silly every time, and might be one of the reasons why none of his movies are more than "okay". The stories are just too stupid, too wannabe and too similiar to each other. "Dard Divorce" might not be the most stupid of his films, but being the most recent I have seen of his it gets much of the blame because had I seen this first I wouldn't know he uses the same "twists" all the time. The similarities to "Garden of Love" would have to be that the only thing it offers is gore ("Garden of Love" delivered more of this, I think), it's stupid, has bad acting and it kinda makes my head go "blargh!"

There is no doubt that this is an Ittenbach film, it feels, looks and acts like one, and that's the only thing that makes it worth watching. I am an Ittenbach fan, the reviewer in me is giving this a bad review but I know what to expect from his films and I accept it. But it wouldn't be fair of me to praise this movie here, because it is stupid and repetitive. Had his films played on the stupidity and had a healthy dose of comedy in them, they would be lovable for the flaws, but you can't say that about a desperate movie like this one. The story is tiring from beginning to end and you just don't care. By the time the movie takes on its fourth or fifth twist you're just annoyed rather than surprised (this could be said about the first twist as well).

"Dard Divorce" is only for the gore and Ittenbach fans. It has nothing to give the regular horror-goer and even if you're a fan you will find the crappiness of it. But it has gore, and most of the time it looks good. If that's what you need from this movie then you should watch it or any other film by Olaf Ittenbach. It's the only reason I still watch his films as well. Just take them for what they are.


Positive things:
- Gore!
Negative things:
- Was that dog at the end there a sheep?
- Random BDSM-themed torture scene.
- All these stupid "twists".
- Sound effects we've heard everywhere before. There was an entire massacre scene that seemingly only used these effects, it was annoying.
- Bad acting.
- In the tub-scene, did the blood spatter on the outside of the tub?

Rating:
Gore: 3.5/5
Nudity: 1/5
Story: 1.5/5
Effects: 3/5
Comedy: 0/5

We got this movie from:
Njutafilms.nu

It can be bought from:
SubDVD.com

Reviewed by:
Ronny




 

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