In a tale of madness that could only be performed by the best dolls and action figures that money can buy: President George W. Bush seeks to be immortal and in order to due so, he must drink the blood of the first vampire from the Unholy Grail. In a hellish battle between super powers everyone is dragged into this unholy war; The Pope, Saddam Hussein, Hitler, even Jesus makes an appearance.
Bill Zebub is one of those guys where his movies' reputation precedes them. Even if you've never seen a single one, you know what they are all about and what you'll get out of them. That's kind of why we've never felt inclined to review his movies here at Film Bizarro. We're both fans of his (in a way) and of the man himself because he's unapologetic about what he does and he does his own thing. Hard not to respect a man like that. Since Wild Eye Releasing sent us their release of his infamous "Dolla Morte" we decided to finally add a review to our database.
If you're unaware, "Dolla Morte" is one of Zebub's more infamous titles because he made it entirely with toys and dolls. Imagine a cheaper version of the television show "Robot Chicken" or an even cheaper version of "Team America: World Police". Filled with social and political satire, "Dolla Morte" is about...is about...You know, I have no idea what it's about. Good thing Mr. Zebub included some liner notes about the plot at the end of the movie. Let's read, shall we (This is from the actual movie. I couldn't make it up, even if I tried):
"In this story, the President wanted to be immortal. To become immortal he would have to become a vampire and to become a vampire he would have to drink the blood of the first vampire. The first vampire was Jesus, and his blood needed to be sipped from the Unholy Grail. Jesus Antichrist. Vlad Dracula had owned the golden chalice and kept it in the town square as proof that he was a great ruler - no one dared to steal it. After his death, the Ottoman Empire kept it as a trophy and that as the reason for the Crusades - to win back the Grail. Over the centuries, the truth of the Grail's significance was forgotten by all but the few - the men who belonged to a secret orders...The President was such a man, and he invaded the Ottoman Empire while pretending that it was for other reasons. Movement of the relic caused rifts in time to appear, and Vlad cam through to defend the Grail - others also passed through the gate. The ink of fear is the blood of Christ - his blood has caused more fear and death than any other cause in human history. The hero mistakenly thought the ink of fear was the ink from an octopus - that is why he yelled, "Boo!" at the octopus (to make it spray)."
Ooooooh, now I get! Actually, I don't. With Hitler orbiting earth in a spaceship, the Pope shitting in the woods, a shark shitting out Jesus, women being crucified and burned at the stake. I couldn't make heads or tails of what the story was or what was going on in this convoluted mess, but at the same time, I wasn't too concerned with it. In fact, I can safely say that I didn't care one bit. I just sat there and watched this movie for what it was - Bill Zebub and Co. ripping on everything from politicians to religious figures with some of the most un-PC jokes you can imagine.
What a lot of people comment on is the offensive nature of "Dolla Morte" and how it wants to piss everyone off. The movie certainly aims to offend but honestly, there isn't anything THAT shocking that goes on or said. How offensive "Dolla Morta" is depends all on the person viewing the movie and what offends them. Personally, I don't find movies offensive - no matter the content, (Regardless of what people seem to think because we here at FB don't have an undying love for every shock film that's made.) so for me, nothing was really 'shocking' or 'offensive'. Sometimes the jokes were funny, sometimes they were stupid, sometimes they were down right annoying. I guess watching a toy Jesus mimic felatio on a crucified Jesus might offend somebody. At the end of the day, when it's all said and done, it was a lot of jokes and humor that even I make along with the like minded folks that I associate with. I'm sure the same can be said with our readers since I doubt anyone here reading this or anyone who knows of Zebub, will be shocked or offended by it either.
Even if the offensive nature of the comedy isn't actually offensive and a lot of the jokes are hit-or-miss, I was still oddly fascinated by the creation and existence of "Dolla Morte". It felt like the movie was created by being a combination of an arthouse experiment, drunken bet, and the desire to make a bad joke to see who would love it. There is no recommending when it comes to "Dolla Morte" or Bill Zebub in general - it's something you naturally seek out on your own. But I will say that "Dolla Morte" is a ridiculous and goofy little movie that will make you question reality because you'll find yourself asking the question, "Is this real?" or "What the hell is this?"