Title: Meat for Satan's Icebox

Also known as:

Year: 2004

Genre: Horror

Runtime: 100 min

Director: David Silvio

Writer: David Silvio, Dana Silvio

IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0847886/

The residential slaughterhouse is selling the flesh of teenage runaways to the local towns people of Stan Place.

Our thoughts:
"I want the baby!"

"It's a fetus."

"It's a baby if you want it and I want it!"

"Meat For Satan's Ice Box" is a classic example of when the title for the movie is infinitely cooler than the actual movie itself. However, being a Troma distributed title and not a produced titled I knew I was going to be getting junk simply because nine times out of ten, they are. "Meat For Satan's Ice Box" is a nonsensical incoherent no-budget backyard movie about a town full of cannibals who eat people in the name of Satan. Wait, no. It's a town full of cannibals who eat people because the slaughterhouse, Satan's Ice Box, provides them delicious teenage runaways…I think. I guess. Whatever, I don't know. Okay here's what you get: town, cannibals, run away teenage girls, Satan references, a slaughterhouse called Satan's Ice Box.

"Meat For Satan's Ice Box" really is nothing but another terrible movie released by Troma and another terrible movie in a long line of terrible no-budget basement productions. In this case, a literal basement production since a lot of the movie takes place in a basement. Not much in the way of a story, or at least not one that's told very well. The characters are also bad with truly awful acting to go with them. The only thing the movie offers is a little bit of nudity and gore.

It seems like "Meat For Satan's Icebox" wanted to be the next "Blood Sucking Freaks" (Not sure why anybody would want that since "Blood Sucking Freaks" is fucking awful…Yeah, I hate that movie too and I'm sure you're shocked by that.) but it just didn't have the means to. I'd say it's because nobody knew what they were doing when they made this movie. Possibly? Probably.

Yes, "Meat For Satan's Ice Box" is bad, but the quality is on par with what I expected, and any rational human being would, for that matter. So I'm not bitter over it being bad. It's nothing but another bad-amateur project where they tried to fill it with gore and nudity to make it watchable, only it didn't work. Not even close.

Positive things:
- Lloyd Kaufman!
- Lloyd Kaufman showing up to drink peepee!
Negative things:
- It's just junk. All of it.
- Not sure whose bright idea it was to take the obvious original 4:3 aspect ration and crop it to make it look widescreen. The entire movie people are missing the top halves of their heads.

Gore: 2/5
Nudity: 2/5
Story: 1.5/5
Effects: 1.5/5
Comedy: 0/5

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