Title: Nail Gun Massacre

Also known as:
The Nail Gun Massacre
Texas Nailgun Massacre

Year: 1985

Genre: Horror

Language: English

Runtime: 85 min

Director: Terry Lofton, Bill Leslie

Writer: Terry Lofton

IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089665/

What was once small but quite and peaceful town in Texas gets disrupted after a young woman is gang raped at a construction site. It isn't long though before people start turning up dead, their bodies riddled with nails. As the body count rises as more and more construction workers are killed, as well as any poor individual who crosses the path of the killer. It's left to the town's Sheriff and local Doctor to find out who the killer is and put a stop to it, before the whole town ends up dead.

Our thoughts:
The horror genre is certainly no stranger when it comes to massacres and people being killed with power tools. Of course we are all familiar with what happen in Texas involving a chainsaw. We've seen what a psychotic artist can do with drill, and we also can forget the over sized drill some madman used when he crashed a slumber party. Then we had someone go completely bat-shit crazy and throw a whole toolbox into the mix, hell we've even had a massacre that was microwaved. So I guess it's only natural for there to be a nail gun massacre, I mean if there was any power tool that would make an interesting weapon to use, it would be the nail gun.

The simple fact that the movie is called "Nail Gun Massacre" should already give you an idea of what you're going to get out of the movie. Cheese, and plenty of it. I will give the movie credit though; it certainly starts off with one of hell of a sleazy bang. No introduction to characters, no establishing shots, no prologue. Nothing. The movie kicks off with a woman being dragged to a dirt pile at a construction site, and being gang raped. The fact that the movie is about someone going around killing people with a nail gun, and it starts off by showing a woman being raped. I think anybody watching the movie will know the significance of the woman being raped, and how it ties in with the "mystery" of a person going on a killing spree. Which is exactly what "Nail Gun Massacre" is, a standard revenge theme horror movie. The audience will pretty much have the movie figured out 1/4 of the way through, but we watch as the small town's Sheriff and Doc, (Neither one of the characters actually have names, they are only referred to as Sheriff and Doc.) slowly piece together how the murders are connected. Sure they try throwing some red herrings our way, making us second guess our assumptions as to who the killer is, but it really doesn't work.

Then again, I'm sure nobody goes into this movie looking for originality or a compelling storyline. No, in fact I'm willing to bet most people want to watch this for the death scenes. I think that's a safe bet. It is with a heavy heart, that I have to say that the death scenes really aren't that good. Laughable? Yes. Good? Eh... Granted this is a low budget movie from the 80's, so I wasn't, and I'm sure nobody else expects top of the line SPFX or death scenes, but everyone pretty much dies the same way. We get the shot of the killer firing off the nail gun, then a quick cut to victim X and they have nails randomly protruding from their skin. There are some nice moments: a guy getting both of his hands nailed to a tree, a man getting his hand nailed to his forehead, a woman getting her hand nailed to her mouth (still not quite sure how that works.), a man getting his junk nailed. Even though these people are riddled with nails, a majority of them don't make sense as to how they die. Oh sure, being shot with the nail gun would certainly hurt like hell but none of the wounds really seem like you would die from them, or atleast die that quickly. Which is what makes the death scenes pretty amusing, that and the horrible acting.

Now I'm really not going to bust on "Nail Gun Massacre" for the bad acting (trust me, it gets really bad), especially after watching the interview with Terry Lofton, on the Synapse Films release of the movie. According to what he said, the actors had to work from a chopped down script so a majority of the lines were improvised on the spot. Which it shows. Some of the main actors do an all right job, I'd say below mediocre, but it's the extras that really kill the scenes. From stuttering, to rambling off completely incoherent thoughts, it'll make you shake your head and laugh from disbelief. Actually, the whole movie will probably make you do that. With moments like a man getting shot up with nail gun, and proceeds to fall over on his barbecue but he goes to far and starts to fall over. He tries to be subtle go about pushing himself back up with his hand against a fence, but it didn't work, as it's quite noticeable.

After it was all over, I wanted to like "Nail Gun Massacre", I really did, but I just couldn't. It's obvious that Terry Lofton and Bill Lesile tried to make a good horror movie, which is probably what keeps me from hating the movie. It was an honest effort, but probably from their inexperience as well as other key factors, it ended up coming out really badly. For that, I'd say B-movie fans will enjoy this more than I did because it isn't one of those intentional bad movies, it just ended up being one.

Positive things:
- Starts the movie off the trashiest way possible, with a gang rape.
- Surprisingly, they did a nice job with the prosthetic nails.
- Some of the "improvised" dialogue is quite funny.
- The fact that the heroes in the movie are simply called Sheriff and Doc.
- While I didn't like it, I think most people will appreciate this amusing little B-movie treat that has a sprinkle of trash on it.
Negative things:
- The puns!
- Probably within the first 15 minutes or so, you know how the entire movie is going to play out and most likely who the killer is.
- I still don't buy who the killer was suppose to be, compared to who the killer was.
- Actors really shouldn't touch the prosthetic nails on the dead bodies. When you see the nails wiggling around and shaking, it kind of kills the moment.
- Still not sure how a motorcycle helmet and duct tape are able to distort a person's voice.

Gore: 2/5
Nudity: 2/5
Story: 2/5
Effects: 2/5
Comedy: 2.5/5

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