- Ghosts of Empire Prairie (2013) Review

Title: Retard Abortion

Also known as:

Year: 2014

Genre: Short / Independent / Exploitation

Language: English

Runtime: 17 min

Director: Scott Swan & Wayne Burgess

Writer: Scott Swan & Wayne Burgess


When a prostitute realizes that a client got her pregnant, she goes to a mask-wearing man she calls "Retard" for help.

Our thoughts:
It's been a few years since Scott Swan gave us his dirty baby that was "Big Junior". Most people will remember him as one of the writers of two Masters of Horrors episodes, both directed by John Carpenter ("Cigarette Burns" and "Pro-Life", which were both memorable), some of you readers will know him as the director of "Maskhead". Either way, we've really come to enjoy this man. He has a dirty mind and doesn't really care where you'd fit his movies: they're low-budget, on the cheesy side, but with some great, fun dialogue and you know that he'll be doing something offensive before it's over. Let me introduce "Retard Abortion", a new short film by Scott Swan and Wayne Burgess. Yes, "Retard Abortion".

What "Retard Abortion" lacks in quality of story, it makes up with having a title like "Retard Abortion", and having an abortion - by a "retard". Short story long: a prostitute is hanging out with a man - possibly a client - who she calls Retard. He doesn't say much, but he is kinky and that seems to be enough. One day the prostitute calls him over because she needs his help. A client got her pregnant, and the retard is the man to help her resolve the problem. He gets a hanger, and she takes a stance over the bathtub...

"Retard Abortion" seems more like it was made out of an urge of putting something out there, something offensive. Where "Big Junior" was actually quite inspiring in how it pulled off being entirely in a hotel room and keeping our interest jumping between engaging dialogues (though somewhat twisted) and shocking content, it's hard to take "Retard Abortion" too seriously or give it too much afterthought. The short film is what it is, you're not likely to enjoy it if you don't enjoy Scott Swan's previous work, the Troma attitude, or the grosser films of Ryan Nicholson.

So does that mean I enjoyed it? Yes and no. I don't think it's a good movie, but it didn't really try to be so it's hard to judge that aspect of it. It's 17 minutes all leading up to one thing - which is what the title promised us. The dialogue isn't as intriguing as in "Big Junior", but there are tiny bursts of that flame in there. The "retard" is simply a mute (or a man who doesn't speak) with an ugly mask, which seems to be enough to call him retard. The movie certainly wants to show us nudity and they have a lead actress who doesn't mind at all, which does make the abortion scene a bit more graphic than the norm. Would I say that "Retard Abortion" suffers a bit from being pointless? You bet. Mostly made for the shock and grossness? Yes sir.

"Retard Abortion" stays true to its name, but doesn't stray away from it either. It's the perfect movie for those who want a fast dose of shock for the sake of shock with the Scott Swan flavor. But for those expecting anything groundbreaking or an underground sensation, then you'll need to search elsewhere. While the mindset is probably close to what was going on during a lot of the Cinema of Transgression movement, in today's climate a short film like "Retard Abortion" won't be leading a revolution. It's a cheesy and deliberate shockfest that was probably made for the hell of it. It's absolutely a relative to "Big Junior", you'll get the same vibe, but if anything this is the retarded cousin rather than a sibling.

Positive things:
- Hopefully Scott Swan will move forward with another feature like "Big Junior" after this.
- At least it delivers on its promise.
- Quite graphic.

Negative things:
- It's.. I mean.. You know... It's just a retard abortion.
- Could have used some more of Scott Swan's entertaining dialogue.

Gore: 2/5
Nudity: 4/5
Story: 1/5
Effects: 2.5/5
Comedy: 2/5

We got this movie from:

It can be bought from:

Reviewed by:


Like us on Facebook

Best of 2017
"City of Rott: Streets of Rott" Press Release
Best of 2016
Best of 2015
Underrated Horror Movies That Aren't Underrated: A Halloween List
Howling: Halloween 2015
Amityville: Halloween 2015
A Stephen King Halloween for 2015
"Tales of the Dim" Press Release
Best of 2014
Full Moon Favorites
A '90s Halloween
Best of 2013
A Profane Preview
A Netflix Halloween for 2013
"German Angst" on Kickstarter
The Sexploitation/Erotica List
Ronny's Arthouse Films List #2
Best of 2012
Worst of 2012

Special Feature Archives

1. Okja
2. Lucky
3. 68 Kill
4. Prevenge
5. Shin Godzilla
6. Good Manners
7. Love and Other Cults
8. Get Out
9. It Comes At Night
10. November
Taken from Best of 2017

- Mondo Vision
- Second Run DVD