A local chemical company in a small village in France is feeling the heat when three young girls turn up dead and the cause points to them. To help dispose of any evidence, they illegally dump their toxic waste in the local cemetery and unwittingly reanimate the corpses of the young girls. These zombies aren't hungry for flesh, but for revenge.
If you could, I'd like you to imagine a zombie movie. A zombie movie where three seemingly random women die from tainted milk after the container truck that was carrying the delicious dairy drink had a mysterious motorcyclist sneak on board to poor an equally mysterious liquid into the milk. Do not worry as to why only three women die from the poisoned pasteurized product and no one else, even though an entire batch was tampered with. We don't need to worry about details and consistencies in our imaginations! Now, go back to imagining those three women. They're dead and buried (and by buried, I mean put in large openings and the covered with the world's lightest stone material possible) and the local chemical company is to blame, or so everyone thinks, and as a result, the company uses shady tactics to dispose of its toxic waste in order to avoid being blamed. The toxic waste is then dumped into the local cemetery and reanimates the three deceased girls (and no one else) who now stumble about looking for revenge against the people from the chemical company.
Are you imagining this movie? Are you imagining it good and hard? Yes? Well, stop imagining because this movie is real!
That's right, sugar tits. This movie isn't a product of your imagination. Not at all! It's a little French movie from the 80's called "Revenge of the Living Dead Girls" and it's here to blow your minds with astonishing idiocy as it combines an action-crime-corporate-heist schlocky plot with horror camp. But that's not what this movie is about.
You heard me, that's not what this movie is about. "Revenge of the Living Dead Girls" is about zombies and sex. High-heel eye stabbing and date rape. Cambodian Wheelbarrows and zombie lesbian orgies. Dicks being eaten by zombies and swords being used as dildos.
Are you imagining an amazingly trashy and sleazy piece of French horror cinema? Yeah? Are you? Well stop imagining because that's not what this movie is about at all!
Wait, but didn't you say…
Don't tell me what I said or didn't say, you shit-twins. "Revenge of the Living Dead Girls" has built a reputation of sleazy-trashy goodness but the movie is actually almost as dull as it is stupid. Yes, there are scenes of zombies biting a man's goods off, zombies getting into a full on lez-orgy until they stab the one live girl in her snizz with a sword and, of course, the famous high-heel into the eye scene. But there are only a handful of these exploitive scenes that occur in the 82 minute runtime.
Hardly enough material to justify the movie's tasteless reputation. And also, when I say the movie's runtime is 82 minutes, I mean it's actually about 3 goddamn hours long since that's what it feels like when you watch it. "Revenge of the Living Dead Girls" is actually not a horror movie, it has just been edited to look like one, so when you're not watching one of the very brief scenes that made the movie infamous. You're stuck watching corporate related espionage; women sleeping around with whomever and men stabbing other men in the backs so they can either keep money or make money. It's "Dallas" with an inept and pointless zombie subplot. Once you realize that the movie isn't about zombies, but the people who run the chemical company and how they're trying to screw over one another for cash, it becomes an extremely disappointing movie.
Hell's horses, this movie doesn't sound any good at all.
Well, I'm not so sure. Yes, it is disheartening to watch "Revenge of the Living Dead Girls" and see what kind of movie it actually is compared to its notoriety. Not to mention it is completely stupid from the overall story down to the scenes themselves. Like the zombie girls jumping into a pool and lying in wait so they can drown one of their victims (What would they have done if he had never gone to the pool? Stay there all night?). Yet, somehow, the movie wasn't totally unenjoyable. It's not as gruesome or scuzzy as you'd like it to be but because it's such a mess and, in general, poorly made, it has a bottom-of-the-dumpster quality to it. I don't know anybody who would call it good movie but it can easily qualify as a guilty pleasure since it certainly has to be one of the trashiest things France has produced.
This is the spoiler part of the review so if you don't want the movie ruined for you, I suggest you stop reading now. Actually, I would have suggested you stop reading the review before you even started to but I guess it's too late for that.
Anyway, the "alternate ending" that's included in the Retromedia DVD release of the movie features what was the actual ending to "Revenge of the Living Dead Girls" which revealed that it wasn't a zombie movie at all, but a crime movie. The three undead girls were actually just girls in masks who participated in a scheme that allowed them to steal a bunch of money so they could leave the village that they're in. And this reveal manages to make an otherwise idiotic and incomprehensible movie make sense and even justifies the lousy make-up job of the zombies. I guess the powers-that-be decided a crime movie was less interesting than a zombie movie so they chopped it up and gave us garbage instead of something that would have been merely forgettable.