Title: Satan's Schoolgirls

Also known as:

Year: 2004

Genre: Comedy / Horror / Erotica / Sexploitation

Language: English

Runtime: 61 min

Director: Ted W. Crestview

Writer: Terry West

IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0456093/

Ten years after the LeVar cult was wiped out by the ATF, a Catholic school is setup in the cult's former complex. The school was intended for wayward young girls who've lost the way but not even prayer can turns these naughty girls straight. What's a priest suppose to do when his classes are full of Satan's schoolgirls?

Our thoughts:
Plausible Denial Productions? You tell lies, sir! I know an Alternative Cinema production when I see one…also because I used IMDb. But that's neither here nor there, dammit! I'm not really sure why I decided to make "Satan's Schoolgirls" my next venture while going through these movies with "Satan's" in the title. I expected nothing short of titties and stupidity, and I got plenty of the latter with a little bit of the former.

With a runtime that barely squeaks by at an hour, we get a very poorly developed story of a Catholic school for wayward girls that use to belong to a Satanic cult that was wiped out by ATF. A priest shows up, girls get naked, people die, etc. I certainly wasn't expecting anything good with "Satan's Schoolgirls", but at best, there is about ten minutes worth of material here. The rest is filled with repeated shots of a church, a cemetery and repeated scenes that we saw about two seconds ago. Of course nudity, spankings and carpet munching is also used as filler but I won't be complaining about those scenes, at least not today.

The movie is an expected nonsensical excuse to show women naked but to drag it out for an hour seemed unnecessary since nobody is going to go into this movie looking for anything but nekkidness. The nauseating attempts at making this feel like a legitimate movie are ill conceived because of the poorly developed story. The ridiculous acting, atrocious bits of dialogue and juvenile sense of humor didn't help any either. I can understand wanting to make the movie silly and ridiculous because that's all you can do with something like "Satan's Schoolgirls" but it just wasn't enough, or good for that matter.

I certainly didn't expect anything less than what I got with "Satan's Schoolgirls" but all the excess filler made it slightly worse from other basement-bewb 'ploiters. If it would have stuck to what the movie was being made for and not try so hard to make it seem like it was an actual movie, then it probably would have been more acceptable. And considering that it's barely an hour long, but manages to feel like it took even longer to watch, I'd say go with something else. Perhaps something like "Orgasm Torture In Satan's Rape Clinic"; at least that one didn't over stay its welcome.

Positive things:
- No thanks, I am full.
Negative things:
- Too much filler. The movie should have full embraced it's perverted sleaziness instead.

Gore: 0.5/5
Nudity: 2/5
Story: 1/5
Effects: 1/5
Comedy: 1/5

We bought this movie from:

Reviewed by:


Like us on Facebook

Best of 2017
"City of Rott: Streets of Rott" Press Release
Best of 2016
Best of 2015
Underrated Horror Movies That Aren't Underrated: A Halloween List
Howling: Halloween 2015
Amityville: Halloween 2015
A Stephen King Halloween for 2015
"Tales of the Dim" Press Release
Best of 2014
Full Moon Favorites
A '90s Halloween
Best of 2013
A Profane Preview
A Netflix Halloween for 2013
"German Angst" on Kickstarter
The Sexploitation/Erotica List
Ronny's Arthouse Films List #2
Best of 2012
Worst of 2012

Special Feature Archives

1. Okja
2. Lucky
3. 68 Kill
4. Prevenge
5. Shin Godzilla
6. Good Manners
7. Love and Other Cults
8. Get Out
9. It Comes At Night
10. November
Taken from Best of 2017

- Mondo Vision
- Second Run DVD