Title: Satan's Touch

Also known as:
N/A

Year: 1984

Genre: Drama

Language: English

Runtime: 85 min

Director: John D. Goodell

Writer: John D. Goodell

IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0261966/

Plot:
For defending the devil during religious discussions, Satan makes a deal with a small town grocery store owner that will allow him to win big during his Las Vegas trip. However, the man's winning streak draws the attention of shady casino owners when he continues to win even when the machines are rigged to make sure everybody loses.

Our thoughts:
Damn you deceptive artwork! Damn you to hell! You got my hopes up and had me thinking -- no, you had me BELIEVING I was going to get something awful, stupid and trashy. But what did I get? What in the name of sweet Zombie Jesus did I get? I got something awful and stupid! Can you believe that? I sure can't and I damn Satan for every bit of this deception!

"Satan's Touch" is this very bizarre almost comedy-like made-for-tv-ish type of movie where a man makes a deal with the devil so he can always win when he gambles on his trip to Las Vegas. You know what happens when people get what they wish for, don't you? Yeah, well, it doesn't happen here. Instead the only thing that happens is people get a stern talking to. That's right. No horrible retribution, no Satanic murdering spree, no torture being given in the depths of hell. People talk and then more people talk and when those people get done talking, more people start talking.

Nothing happens besides talking. Even that curly haired ginger who dare calls himself Satan, participates in talking. Does he do anything else? Fuck no! Satan pops up every now and again to give us his perspective on people. Oh, goodie! The casino that's the main focal point in the movie have their machines rigged up so they never payout. So what do they do when a single man shows up and starts winning, even though he shouldn't be able to? They talk about it AND send their machines out to be tested and studied for defects. Are you fucking kidding me?! A couple shows up who want to cheat the casino out of their money, and you guessed it, all they do is talk. Fuck me running!

I'm not exaggerating when it comes to "Satan's Touch"; absolutely nothing happens besides people talking to one another. Even when you think the "shady people" who run the casino are going to do something of interest, they don't. Instead they put together a research team so they can run a statistical analysis to see how often the machines could be paying out. Which has to be one of the most bizarre turns I've seen in a movie that wasn't an educational or instructional video. I don't know the details of the story or characters since I eventually blanked it out and stopped paying attention. The one thing that I do know is that eventually the guy loses all the money he's won, everyone learns an important lesson in the end and are better people for it. Except me. I'm now a little be more angry and hateful because of "Satan's Touch".


Positive things:
- Oh, fuck off.
Negative things:
- I was touched by Satan alright but it wasn't a good kind of touch. It wasn't a fun touch at all.

Rating:
Gore: 0/5
Nudity: 0/5
Story: 1/5
Effects: 0/5
Comedy: 0/5

We bought this movie from:
N/A

Reviewed by:
Preston




 

Like us on Facebook



"City of Rott: Streets of Rott" Press Release
Best of 2016
Best of 2015
Underrated Horror Movies That Aren't Underrated: A Halloween List
Howling: Halloween 2015
Amityville: Halloween 2015
A Stephen King Halloween for 2015
"Tales of the Dim" Press Release
Best of 2014
Full Moon Favorites
A '90s Halloween
Best of 2013
A Profane Preview
A Netflix Halloween for 2013
"German Angst" on Kickstarter
The Sexploitation/Erotica List
Ronny's Arthouse Films List #2
Best of 2012
Worst of 2012
Halloween list: Mockumentaries

Special Feature Archives



 
 
TOP 10 OF LAST YEAR:
1. Fires on the Plain
2. What We Do in the Shadows
3. We Are Still Here
4. Spring
5. Makeup Room
6. Kumiko, the Treasure Hunter
7. A Pigeon Sat on a Branch Reflecting on Existence
8. Shadow Zombie
9. Honeymoon
10. Nina Forever
Taken from Best of 2015



CURRENT FAVORITE
DISTRIBUTORS:
- Mondo Vision
BFI
- Second Run DVD