A young couple finds an old, dusty book. The book tells the story of Countess Sexcula, the best in sex, who is called in to help Dr. Fallatingstein to get her human-like robot to get an erection. And hunchback Orgie is doing his best to get some from Dr. Fallatingstein's female robot.
Who in their right mind haven't wanted to watch "Sexcula"? I mean, if you have heard of the title, that is. And if you are a perv. All of us are, right? You gotta hand it to Impulse Pictures for bringing out some forgotten smut like this and "Serena", they're doing quite a good job at it. "Sexcula" is apprently a long lost title - new to me, since I just watch these flicks when they arrive, rather than search around for them. But it does soothe me knowing that titles like this one can be dug up still in 2013. When porn is in the state it is today, I am much more interested in these old, stupid, campy, jolly ol' skin flicks!
Let's go over some of the amazing names and characters we are introduced to in "Sexcula". Of course, Countess Sexcula. She's a master of all things sex and is hired by a doctor. Hired for what? Well, the doctor, Dr. Fallatingstein has created sex robots, but her golden boy sex toy has no interest in sex. Countess Sexcula is there to help change that. Then we have the doctor's hunchback assistant, Orgie (probably the best name of the bunch!), who is just a fat and gross slob. All he wants is to have sex with the female sex robot. The female sex robot... well, she has sex. That's all she does, and she will never say no! One more character we have to mention is... the gorilla! Locked in a cage (probably the worst cage ever), the gorilla still joins in on the action in a fascinating little strip dance with a woman.
What else is there to say, really? This is old, ridiculous porn. For the most part I found "Sexcula" to be boring. The silliness quickly gets "meh", the sex is terrible and too dark in the beginning of the movie (and those bad scenes are always too long). The sex does get more "standard" towards the end and we're treated to plenty of it. Basically, if you're out to bust a nut, just skip to about half of the movie and you're good. If it's your cup of tea? Who knows. But it's there, and it's fellatios, lesbos and all other smut you'd want.
There isn't enough comedy to get out of "Sexcula" if you are watching it alone, most of it is a snooze. If you are watching it with friends, however, you can get quite a few laughs out of it. It's one of those movies! But alone, nah, not really. You're not far from the fast forward button. It's still fantastic that this has been released and I am happy to own it for the cover art alone.