Title: Torture Me, Kiss Me

Also known as:

Year: 1970

Genre: Naziploitation / Sexploitation

Language: English

Runtime: 75 min

Director: David R. Friedberg

Writer: N/A

IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0259673/

Nazi Colonel von Hildebrandt is ordered to France where his job is to make sure Hitler's army keeps the country occupied and to flush out the resistance. While amongst his duties of bombing random villages, country sides, torturing and executing prisoners, von Hildebrandt has other matters to attend to. Mostly involving his beautiful secretary and making sure to have his way with any woman he sees fit.

Our thoughts:
The wonderful folks at Something Weird Video have recently released the obscure naziploitation film "Torture Me, Kiss Me”, a film that came after "Love Camp 7" but was before the big boom in Nazi themed sleaze flicks. While it may have been before the subgenre took off and its micro-budget is more than obvious, it still brings to the table the same themes that Roberto Rossellini first started, that Nazis and sexuality go hand-in-hand.

The story is as simple as one can get; Nazi Colonel von Hildebrandt is in charge of the forces in occupied France and is ordered to keep control of the country while eliminating the underground movement. That's it. I guess anything else would have gotten in the way of Hildebrandt, his luscious secretary Ilsa, (Remember, this came 4-5 years before "Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS".) and the random assortment of characters getting their freak on. There is some bits of story thrown in of Hildebrandt becoming more and more paranoid that those closes to him are going to betray him. As well as scenes of the French rebels monitoring the Nazis and occasionally generating attacks, but in general this movie is about the sleaze.

I'd almost consider "Torture Me, Kiss Me" to be a nudie-cutie with a dusting of Nazis rather than a full blown naziploitation flick. It's never as dirty or as sleazy as other, more popular titles from the subgenre, but it also doesn't really get into the torture aspect. Sure there are some whippings, a bit of rape, and a couple gal's being smacked around, but the scenes are few and far between and just aren't all that bad in comparison. Maybe the scenes didn't seem as bad because the movie isn't very well made and is pretty hokey...Nah, couldn't be.

There really isn't much to comment on in "Torture Me, Kiss Me"; it's a pretty bad low-budget flick with a storyline that's as thin as some of the garments worn by the ladies, and the acting is laughable. Then again it is simply a skin flick, so in all honesty, who gives a shit? Really? Basically, what "Torture Me, Kiss Me" boils down to is a trashy flick from the 70's that while may not be as nasty it's predecessor or it's successors, it is still plenty sleazy. Where the movie maybe lacking, it has some whippings, outdoor bathing, an office orgy, lesbians, softcore sex, and in general an ample amount of bare skin that will make up for what it lacks in spades and makes for some decent exploitive viewing.

Positive things:
- Stock war footage.
- Orgies...Sponge baths...Lesbians...Oh my.
- What it maybe lacking in terms of "quality" filmmaking, it makes up for in bare female flesh.
- Call me crazy but I think those lesbians stroking, rubbing, and licking that peeled banana is suppose to represent something. What could it possibly be though?
Negative things:
- Plenty of "Kiss Me" not enough "Torture Me".
- Did not see one single Frenchmen in a beret. Not one!
- Lack of stereotypical German and French accents.

Gore: 0/5
Nudity: 3.5/5
Story: 2/5
Effects: 0/5
Comedy: 2/5

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