Against his wishes, Walter Webster, an aspiring director, is forced to make a gore and nudity filled horror movie by his producer. Plagued by nightmares, Walter is consumed by madness and starts killing the young women he brings in to be apart of his movie.
"The architect was either a certified genius or an authentic wacko."
Thanks for the quote, Dr. Venkman. I know Daryl Carstensen and Ross Marshall are not architects and after watching "Unnaturally Born Killer" I'm positive they aren't directors or writers either. Authentic wackos? That would probably be giving them too much credit as well. I think what "Unnaturally Born Killer" actually constitutes as is an experiment of what happens when you give a video camera to someone who has never seen a movie before and ask them to make one.
That sounds a little mean but there is literally no plot to "Unnaturally Born Killer". There's not even an idea to be found. Walter Webster (played by Ross Marshall) is…some guy who is apparently making a movie for…some other guy. A key factor that you don't even get to know until you're 20 minutes into the movie, and I know that for a fact because I checked the display clock on the DVD player. That is the only plot point you get. The rest of the runtime is spent with various women with Walter asking them to do things -- some times he kills them after, other times nothing happens. Of course there is the additional dream sequence too. This is all that occurs for the next hour and a half.
Normally I would be pissed watching something like "Unnaturally Born Killer" but because it is so goddamn clueless and directionless (Actually, I'm sure this is suppose to be one of those "ironic" movies. The type that criticizes others for focusing on exploitive material by also being exploitive. But I don't buy that since I hear that excuse every time for shit-failure movies like this.), I completely shut down while watching it. It's a wonder that I even remembered to breathe during its runtime. I have certainly seen some insanely idiotic movies in my time but "Unnaturally Born Killer" is truly astonishing. I'm sure both Daryl and Ross had seen movies before but I have to -- no -- I need to believe that neither man had seen any movie of any kind before. That is the only logical reason this movie can exist.
When Walter Webster dresses up as Little Orphan Annie with blackface or when his visits his wife in her cage (don't ask -- it's not explained) and throws chunks of flesh and her and says, "When will you learn to wipe your nose?" I'd like to think there was some sort of idea, some sort of competency behind the empty insanity of the movie. An experimental avant-garde move gone HORRIBLY awry, I optimistically whispered to myself. No. No. No. Sadly, no. "Unnaturally Born Killer" is random scene after random of people saying, "Let's do this, it'll be cool!"
Again, that's a dick thing to say but "Unnaturally Born Killer" didn't allow me to have any other opinion. I'm not sure if it is the most awful and pointless movies I've seen but it's in the top 5 at the very least. I would rather watch "Bangers" again (a movie that also features Ross Marshall no less). I can't even properly critique the movie, positively or negatively, because there is nothing to critique. The longest scene in the movie is a 6-7 minute sequence of Walter playing the theremin (and not very well at that). Why? Why not, apparently and it's a scene at the very beginning of the movie. It has nothing to do with anything -- it doesn't relate to the story, it doesn't tell us about Walter and nothing occurs other than watching Walter play the theremin. A moment in time that should have made me realize just how fucked I really was.